Money and Relationships
Have you ever sat and thought how money is part of your relationships, is it something you actively thought about when getting with your partner, or is it something you really didn’t think about till later in the relationship when you had been together for some time?
Shepherds Friendly have been talking to people about how they see money as part of their relationships and how it can impact the different stages of their involvement, from getting together to what happens when debt becomes a large part of one partner’s life.
With everything, they found out they put together this clever infographic as well as extra information about how money impacts relationships. Which perhaps can help you feel a little less alone when you are struggling with money issues.
For Ash and I since quite early in our relationship, we decided that we would share everything, this meant the good and the bad when it came to finances. There have been times when my health has been bad and Ash has had to hold us up and times when it has been the other way around. For us it works, it allows us to deal with our health issues when we need to and not feel like we are taking advantage of the other as we look after each other at bad times.
It hasn’t always been easy sailing though, I started this blog because I was at a point in my life where I couldn’t cope anymore and Ash was doing everything. I don’t think either of us could have guessed where it would have led me. Sometimes today I still pinch myself and wonder if it is all real.
I guess the advice both us would offer is, to be honest. If one of you feels like you are sinking for one reason or another then tell the other. Be open, work together to help better your situation and even in the darkest of moments you may find your way to the light.
How do you approach finances in your relationship, does any of the information on the infographic ring true to you?
This is a collaborative post.
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Love the interesting infographic.
Most of my squabbles with the hubs are over money matters.
This is an interesting article, and to see the divide in various ways. It isn’t just money in the abstract, but how you will be financially secure, and how much you perceive it could be jeopardized, a spender type vs a saver. And then who pays on a date, it can be more complicated if one of them has much less funds, say a student, but then also someone who hasn’t tried very hard to be financially responsible.
I think money can potentially cause problems within a relationship. It’s important that couples communicate with one another about finances.
It definitely can be something that really can cause issues isn’t it.
I think money can have a huge impact on relationships on how you trust each other, the effect it has on ones self worth etc
Me and my boyfriend share everything and we find that it works best for us because we’re both so open and honest about everything xxx
It is great you have the perfect way for it to work for you both.
Yes to all of this! I am married to someone who works in finance, so we have always lived below our means and saved our $$. But it is also important to be on the same page!
That sounds great – it is good to have someone who knows a lot on your side!
Really interesting read
Really thought provoking post Sarah (as always!)xxx
Thank you so much 🙂 x
This is such a wonderful post. I agree with all the things you’ve said, I think when you start dating you should share your finances and if they are in or have debt. Thanks for sharing!
Most definitely, it’s not a bad thing not having much money it’s about being honest about it.
I think money and talking about it is really important when you’re in a relationship especially if you’re spending the rest of your lives together. Although it shouldn’t be a reason for couples to break up or get separated. If only people were more open and honest about it.
No most definitely not – I think it’s something you need to be together on and I think it’s probably the lies that cause issues. rather than having not enough pennies.
This is a great post! Money is not an issue to us but we don’t really talk about it that much. This post enlightened me! Thank you!
I guess if you have no issues there’s not much to talk about as long as you know it is all going OK.
Finances can be such a touchy subject for couples. As those statistics showed, it takes time and a lot of conversation to figure out where the other person stands. It was cool to see the breakdown of how men and women each responded.
Most definitely it is something that everyone needs to make sure they are having honest conversations about.
Your post brings up a bunch of good points. Finances and relationships are always hard. Women especially need to have a good handle on their finances and make sure they have their own credit and their own money. I have known several women who let their husbands handle the finances completely and when the marriage ended, they did not end up in a good place.
Most definitely – I think learning about it starts in childhood as well. We learn a lot from our parents.
That’s a great post. Can straighten out so many relationship aspects. Thanks for sharing.
No problem at all – I am glad people are finding it useful.
I love infographics! This was a good read.
They are great aren’t they – they always put things well.
This is a great subject, and one that not many think about when they start dating. It’s so important to have a money talk before getting married.
Most definitely I think people need to find a way for it to work in their relationship even if they look at things slightly differently.
I think it’s very important to be honest about finances with going into a relationship or even if something changes while during a relationship. Glad to know we are not responsible for their debt. I wondered about that.
Most definitely I think everyone needs to try and be as open and honest as possible.
This is so true, relationships are directly influenced by money as much as we’d like to think they weren’t.
Yeah I think sometimes its easier to think it’s nothing but sadly money is everything in this world.
What an interesting topic! Just like you and Ash, my husband and I have decided to be open about everything, including finances, since the early stage. We’ve been quite transparent about how much we make and how we would want to manage it, where to invest and all that. This is such an interesting post, and I found that the infographic was very clever indeed!
It is the best way to be I think, I think Ash would probably tell you I am an open book for him as well – can’t keep anything from him lol.
Yes to Honesty. Relationship without it will not last long. This is such a helpful post. Looking forward for more ❤
Most definitely honesty is everything in a relationship and you need it to keep it together.
Money is such a hot-button topic! It is definitely something you need to discuss before you get serious with someone though. It is the cause of soooooo many arguments.
Most definitely – I think it can set a lot of people off which is a shame in some ways.
Money is such a big issue in relationships. I’m very careful with money, but my partner is the opposite, many years ago I stupidly let him have my credit cards so that he could buy food and presents for his children ‘in emergencies’ when he was short. I ended up £30,000 in debt and have just managed to get it all cleared. Needless to say he doesn’t get a penny from me these days, and I make him give me money for his half of the bills, which I also used to cover. He thinks I’m being stingy, but I don’t care anymore, what’s mine is mine now!
Oh no! That is awful 🙁 you definitely aren’t being stingy when you have been through all of that!
I think every couple has its way to work through and come to common ground on the financial bit, its very tricky, but you have the trust factor it will work. I think both of them should support each other, then only the relationship works…! its all situation based ! never one thing is right !
Most definitely I don’t think it’s a straight path of this is how it should be. Things are different for everyone.
I’m surprised by the percentage of people who don’t tell their partner their salary! My partner and I share everything, this morning we sat down to go through our budget again and look at how much we’d been spending on holiday and to juggle the money.
I have to admit Ash helps me with my tax returns so he knows everything haha!
I am blessed that although we struggle sometimes, money is never an issue that would make us argue or anything like that.
That is good – making sure you can talk to about anything is good.
It’s so important to have open and honest conversations with your partner about finances. It can be such a stressful thing, and it’s vital that you are both on the same page.
Most definitely I think communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship.
Great post! I must say my husband and I both have separate accounts and we manage them both really well. We do however come to the table to make sure we both are on the same page about our Finances. I have seen so many couples fight about money to the point it really hurt their marriage.
That’s good – I think it is such a shame when people fight about things like money. Being honest from the word go can make a big difference.
For us managing separate accounts worked well. We have a high trust factor with each other’s spending habits. We still talk about the bigger purchases together, though.
That can be a great way to do things, I think everyone has there different ways of working things and as long as it works for you it’s all good.
What an eyeopening set of stats. Money definitely played no part in my falling for my husband. And we split the bill on our first date!
No it was the same with Ash and I – thought we work well together with it now in our own way.
In the beginning of our relationship my husband and I fought about money. Then we combined our accounts and realized we needed to share everything.
Sharing works for Ash and I as well, though we also have our own accounts for those spends we don’t want the other to know about it (presents) lol. x
This is such good information! Being on the same page as your partner about money and where to spend it is so important. Money is such a stressor, it’s such a great feeling to have someone on your side.
Most definitely it makes things so much easier to understand and get through as well.
I would want to get a good idea about a person’s financial situation before I’d ever have even one date, not later in a relationship. I also have seen how some people can make a good salary and continually blow through it and have nothing to show for having a good job, etc., that is folks with multiple degrees. I wouldn’t want to be close to people like that whereby they could negatively impact the modest security I have. It is one thing if some unusual circumstance happened, but a pattern is a big no-no.
I think it’s not about what is earnt but how it is used.
Thank you for sharing an I remember reading an article once about marriage and money. I think it’s important to be open to keep both parties happy.
Most definitely honesty is the best thing to do in every way.
I think a lot of couples argue about money, especially if they have very different approaches to finances. Luckily my husband and I both agree on the same principals when it comes to money.
It is hard isn’t it when you have conflicting ways of looking at money or really any important issue.
I am the one making the money and he spends and budgets with it. it works ok but I have the ultimate say on bigger buys
It seems like you have put together a way for it to work for you both and that’s awesome.
I do think money play an important part in the relationship. The important is to open up and talk about it if there is any issue.
Most definitely I think the talking about it is the important part rather than the money itself.
Now, this is a great post and very informative too. Loved this kind of article to make us think twice about how to manage our money. Thank you for sharing this to us.
I hope it has helped you a little way – glad to have shared it.
Money is something that needs to be openly discussed in all relationships. My husband and I are very open about our finances and always have been. Something different will work for everyone, but we like to have 3 accounts, mine his and ours.
It really does, me and Ash pretty much have the same, with our own having money that can be frittered or used for gifts.
I agree that no matter what you must have full honesty in a relationship. You can make it through anything as long as you are open and honest with each other.
Honestly is such a huge thing – you can lose everything if you don’t have that one simple thing going on.
It’s such a sensitive topic but I really don’t think it’s something that couples should fight about. Yet it remains to be one of the reasons people separate. It definitely makes a huge impact in a relationship but it’s worth it if you work through it together!
Yeah it is such a shame that couples do still fight about it and that it isn’t openly and honestly spoken about.
The level of self-disclosure gauges the strength of a couple’s relationship as indicated in your information. So, not disclosing enough vital information means a red flag.
Most definitely that is such a vital bit of information everyone should know.
The last thing a couple needs to have is money troubles. This is a great way to bring about communication!
Most definitely I think everyone goes through hard times but you need to talk about them.
This is a really great article. Finances are a thing that couples really need to make sure and take seriously!
It really is – I think its something you need to be honest about since the start.
Great tips I will be using as well as sharing with my daughter and her husband.
I hope it helps you all in some way 🙂
Women and men rarely “really” agree on much of anything. 🙂 We are just wired differently however, this post is interesting! When it comes to money, I was surprised at how close your poll actually was.
That is very true – we do think things through in different ways.
My husband has always been a lot cheaper than me and it’s kind of ridiculous as we are living well below our means.
I’m probably the cheaper out of Ash and I, I am awful at spending money I’m like but I could do without it all the time.
Great article. My hubby and I have always been pretty frugal in our married life. We do splurge on an item or two, but always do research on the best deal.
I think that’s clever, you always want to make the most of the pennies you have and have things that last well.
Very interesting facts. Fortunately money has never been an issue for us (in terms of the relationship, not saying that we have always had enough!).
I think if you get through those times when money is short – you are well on the right track in many ways.
Finances are one of the top reasons why most relationships don’t last, which is unfortunate but so true. I loved reading through these facts, and I will keep them close when my next relationship comes along!
It is sad in many ways but I can see how it can easily end up being something that brings around the end of a marriage.
Good to keep in mind. I’m glad my husband and I were always responsible with money. Granted, he would spend his more freely at first, and I’d remind him about the importance of saving.
My other half is the same, he’s great with other peoples money, but his own nah. We’ve come up with a way that works for us though thankfully.
It was very interesting reading all the different percentages of what men thought and what women thought. So glad I haven’t been in the dating scene in over 40 years.
It is interesting isn’t it – I don’t think I could deal with dating again I have to admit.