Disability, Identity and Me
Last week I asked a question which I guess in ways lead to me questioning myself about aspects of my identity.
My question was: does anyone know of any good screen reading software?
The question asked of me was: are you visually impaired?
This was something I had never thought of before, of course, there are times I ask myself this about my physical disabilities.
There are days I cannot make it from my bed to the sofa without feeling I have run a marathon, yet they sit in the rooms next to each other. There are days when I struggle to the bathroom and days where my limbs feel like they are made of lead.
I rely on a blue badge to get to the shops, as it means I can carefully plan where I am going and park nearby therefore I can walk to it painfully rather than rely on others to push me in my wheelchair.
So does that make me disabled?
I guess although loathed to admit it I am disabled, with a hidden disability rather than those we picture when we think of a disabled person.
However, back to that question asked of me, I’ve accepted I have mental health issues, accepted I am disabled, do I need to also add visually impaired to that list as well?
So let me ask you:
I can see very little difference, between wearing my glasses and not. In fact, I often forget if I have them on or not, as my vision is so similar with or without them.
I can get passable vision via wearing contacts, but they are painful and I only manage to wear them for so long. They have also left my cornea scarred as they are hard and at times no longer fit very well.
I even need to go without them for a week, in the coming month, which will limit everything I can do.
So even though it is correctable in a way, does the fact I can’t see even with glasses mean I am visually impaired?
It’s hard sometimes to accept how disabilities can become part of your identity, part of what defines you. However, I am slowly learning it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. While disabilities impair you in certain ways you become stronger in others, you learn to look after yourself in different ways, you learn who cares and who matters the most. Meaning your world changes in both good and bad ways and that is OK.
To hear more about how disabilities can define part of peoples identities, the series Identities from Bathing Solutions speaks to 3 different, disabled people about how it affects them. Personally, I found that I identified with Umber’s video the most. She also has a hidden disability and got me thinking about how I felt about disability myself, how it was to learn to accept the things you cannot change, while still letting yourself live as much of a life as possible. As well as pointing me in the direction of learning that sometimes it is OK to be selfish and look after yourself as number one when pain and fatigue levels are high,
What do you think of when someone mentions a disability, if you are disabled, how does your disability come into play with your identity?
*This is a collaborative post.
I too have a hidden disability but I don’t believe this make me less of a person. I may have restrictions in what I can do but the same applies to everyone to some extent. Consider, for example, the limitations of a person who cannot empathise with other people. They may be fit and strong but there will be will be certain roles they cannot effectively take on, in the same way that there will be some roles that my physical limitations will prevent me undertaking effectively. Obviously, some people are more severely disabled than others but perhaps it is only a question of degree.
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Disability is just a label, it’s what people perceive the label means that matters. When I started suffering from Arthritis and Fibromylagia my NHS bosses declined my further employment on the grounds I was incompetent to fulfill my contract. They didn’t understand what disability is. and truthfully it means something different for each disabled person. It hurt to be called incompetent, but it hurt more when I applied for retirement on the grounds of ill health and they asked me to prove I couldn’t do any job in the NHS. So much for the caring NHS but if they don’t understand then who will. (PS When we visited the USA last summer for the first time since I became wheelchair bound I discovered I was no longer disabled but handicapped instead)
this has really made me think – thanks for this am going to look at those video’s now, We are all so caught up in the there’s always someone got it worse than me cycle and not wanting to put a ‘label’ on ourselves.
i know how you feel some days are harder then others and the hardest part is accepting it
Hi,
Like you I struggle to come to terms with being disabled and everything that goes with the “title”!!
Due to an accident nearly three years ago I suddenly found myself relying on others, which is difficult as I was a very independent fit person, I rely on my powered wheelchair, the Blue Badge but most of all my wife.
Getting from one place to another both physically and mentally is very challenging but after nearly three years I am just starting to accept that I have changed in so many ways.
On the bright side, I am sitting down most of the time and I’m not getting pushed around as much. Just got to roll with it!
Thank you for original post.
John
Hi John,
It is hard isn’t it – life can really throw curve balls at times, I am glad you are learning to accept it as well, and learning to live again almost with the new life you have.
A few years ago no my brother died and he had lived with two disabilities. Now I wish I could speak on behalf of him about disability and perceptions of it so this kind of post hints at the kind of message I want to express. Thank you so much for sharing!
I am so pleased it is resonating with some people, it can be so hard to express sometimes.
I love how whatever is thrown in the path of us human beings, we always find a way to cope and deal with it. Just amazing.
We do we are adaptable, however much it sometimes feels like we are anything but.
I feel the same as Emma Raphael; I think we Brits are self-depreciating and always feel we shouldn’t bother someone/someone else deserves help more than me. We need to work on our self care. I admire you for just getting on with things but if you need help then don’t be afraid to ask.
I have to admit I need to get better at asking for help, I keep going for too long.