A lot of people find Christmas hard for many different reasons.
Of late I find I miss my Aunt and Granny so much over the festive seasons. I miss seeing their smiling faces, the delight at having the family together.
However for as long as I can remember I've found Christmas a very difficult time of year. Way back into my teens, I remember lying on my bed and crying, telling my parents I didn't want to celebrate Christmas.
I can't put my finger on why. There's no real reason which jumps out and shouts at me, yes this is why I find Christmas hard.
For a while, I thought it was because everywhere shuts down and it's not because I want to go out, but because I can't. Cabin fever per'say.
Then I thought perhaps it was because of all of the hype in the run-up to Christmas and then suddenly it's gone.
There's nothing left, no Christmas cheer, it has all finished for the next year.
However, nothing really seems to fit the bill.
So Why Post If You Don't Know?
I guess my reason for posting is when it comes to mental health not everyone has a reason why they feel the way they do.
Anxiety and panic can hit for no reason, it just suddenly hits and you just can't put your finger on the reason why.
However, the first question you will always be asked is why.
Why do you feel this way, what set it off, what can you do to make the situation ease?
But when you don't know, just people pressing you for answers can make it worse.
You start questioning yourself why don't I know, what's wrong with me that 1) I feel this way and 2) I don't know why.
So my reason for posting is simple.
You don't have to know why. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for mental health and that is OK.
Don't keep digging to try and find out why it will make things worse.
It is OK to find Christmas a hard time for no reason.
Your feelings are completely valid, no matter why you are struggling.
Don't feel you can't reach out for help because you don't understand why you are feeling bad, you can.
My inbox is always open if you need to chat as well.
Mental Health Helplines
If you need to chat with someone, helplines open across the festive period include:
Phone: 0300 123 3393
Take care of yourself.