Choose You: How to Remind Yourself That You Are a Priority Too

If you find yourself getting lost amongst the daily hustle and bustle of life, you are not alone. It seems that while we’re all more than aware of the necessity of practising self-care, most of us seldom do.

We have to remember that amidst the chaos of life, we should prioritise ourselves. We all lead busy lives and juggle so many different components, from family to work, and even thinking more than necessary about our personal aspirations.

It’s not uncommon to be last on the list of our priorities, but we have to remember that taking care of ourselves is vital so we can build a far more solid foundation on it. Neglecting our own needs will result in burnout, and this will greatly hinder our quality of life.

So, what can we do to prioritise self-care and our well-being?

The Importance of Reminders

In counselling, they tell you that you need to reconsider how you view yourself, especially if you are someone who goes way down the pecking order of priorities in your family, friends, and your existence. This is why we have to remember that while prioritising ourselves is something we know we need to do, we have to walk the walk as well as talk the talk.

This is why reminding ourselves that we need to stop and place more importance on ourselves is critical.

Ultimately, there are many different ways to do this, from a simple Post-it note on your laptop telling you to stop and tell yourself you’re awesome, all the way through to more symbolic practices that may resonate more with you. These may include things that align with your passions.

Something like flowers or plants can be a subtle symbol that helps you to be yourself. For example, the spirit of juniper reminds us of the importance of creating boundaries and standing our ground, so you may want to think of getting some juniper trees and placing them around your garden.

Those little reminders are undoubtedly very important, and we must remember that we can’t just expect ourselves to instantly feel worthy. We have to keep sending that signal to our subconscious.

Recognising the Signs

Once you understand the times you’re not prioritising yourself, this is when you can stop, reassess, and make the right choice for you. We all deserve time to ourselves, and we all deserve those moments of relaxation and rejuvenation.

But if you are in a life where you can’t stop and recognise the signs that you are heading towards burnout, this is when you need to start slowing down and paying attention to those patterns that you’ve made for yourself. 

Feeling overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted, and strung out are all common signs that can be associated with so many different facets of stress or anxiety. While the knee-jerk reaction in the modern-day is to go to the doctor, before we start medicating ourselves, if we can make simple lifestyle choices that force us to put our foot on the brakes, we are not just prioritising ourselves, but we’re actively working towards fixing our health in the process.

Boundaries

One of the most effective ways to prioritise yourself is all about setting boundaries in life. Learning to say no is one of the toughest things to do when we don’t prioritise ourselves, and if we are in a position where we constantly kowtow to others and say yes at the drop of a hat, we’ve got quite a journey to complete, but it’s totally worth it. 

Boundaries are what will ensure that you preserve something about yourself, and you will slowly come to respect and understand what your limits really are. Self-care is one facet of prioritising yourself, but personal growth is another, and when we are working to ensure that we look after ourselves by setting boundaries and recognising when it’s too much, if we then encounter kickback, we’ve got to question what purpose those people or those situations have in our lives.

Self-Care Rituals

Many people think about self-care as being this hard-to-reach part of life that we should only do when we are hitting the wall. Booking a spa day is a very common example because we feel that we finally need to do something that’s for ourselves, but it requires a major investment.

The reality is that self-care rituals should be a part of our everyday lives and cost nothing. 

There are so many different ways to look after yourself based on what you perceive as being beneficial for you. There’s meditation and mindfulness, but there’s also the simple things that you may have been lacking in recent years.

A long bath or reading a book can be part of life’s pleasures and should be a practice that rejuvenates you. The one thing that we have to remember about self-care is that nobody can do it for us.

We all need to take the time to do the things that we know will benefit us. It’s just about having the bravery to prioritise yourself.

As so many people who feel that they don’t prioritise who they are and are stressed or overworked, if there is absolutely no push or pull in life because you are going through a rough patch or there’s just too many different things that need sorting, regardless of the duties of life, you can still place importance on doing something little. 

The great thing about this is that you don’t need to spend a long time doing it. You just need to refine what it is that you know is good for you.

Some people feel really strung out because they’re doing way too much, and therefore having a moment of solitude to quiet their brain down can be very beneficial. Self-care is necessary for our mental well-being, but also our physical well-being too.

Therefore, finding those little moments of pleasure, no matter how fleeting they are, will gradually make a shift in your overall happiness levels.

Making Time and Goals Work for You

The topic of personal development, no matter how much we try to avoid it or whatever way it is, is absolutely critical for self-prioritisation. Goals will help us stay on the straight and narrow, and as we gradually allocate time specifically for personal development and self-care, this ensures that we are consistently working on our growth and our happiness. 

Some people are compulsive list makers, and one could argue that the reason people are like this is because they like the idea of having things to do to keep them occupied while also getting that sense of achievement out of hitting their goals. If looking after your happiness is tough, you will most definitely benefit from setting yourself goals but also managing your time more effectively.

Block out a small amount of time every single day, whether it’s 60 seconds, 10 minutes, or an hour, and focus all of your energies on doing the thing that is for you and you alone.

Regular Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is a powerful tool in our self-prioritisation journey. We should all take time to assess our progress and make those necessary adjustments.

This can help us stay on track and be that little reminder that we need to put ourselves first. When you sit down with a notepad and really start to think about the things that you want in life, making these notes will serve as a constant reminder that our goals are always critical to our sense of self.

If you don’t prioritise yourself, you start to view yourself as inferior. 

Regular self-reflection and introspection should be part and parcel of our schedules because it will ensure that we take those times to understand what we can do better on our journey to prioritisation. The key to self-reflection is about asking the right questions.

What can I do better? Am I on the right path? Am I actually prioritising myself?

The last question is particularly important because sometimes we can think that we’re prioritising ourselves, but we’re not actively engaging in what we should be doing to actively support our goals and mindset changes.

Overcoming Guilt

Guilt is a part of the process when you start to focus on yourself, and we can feel very guilty if we don’t give ourselves any priority in life. It may be a natural part of your mindset anyway, but it’s essential to recognise that self-prioritisation is not selfish.

It’s a critical way to become a better, healthier, and happier version of yourself. It will make you feel far more rejuvenated, relaxed, and full of purpose. 

This is why we should never feel guilty for the choices we make. There are, of course, times when guilt will override all sense of logic, for example, parent guilt, which is a default setting for many.

But if you are someone who is not looking after yourself, then you are not prioritising yourself either, which is why you need to remember that if you look after yourself, it’s about remembering you are worth it. Choose yourself.

This is a collaborative post.

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