2 Conversations Every New Couple Should Have
Getting into a new relationship is a bit like entering uncharted territory. There’s so much to learn about your other half and finding out what they think and feel can be like navigating your way to somewhere you’ve never been without a sat nav. In the midst of blossoming romance, it can be easy to make assumptions about your new sweetheart’s approach to life, love and everything else. To be sure you’re on the same page though, it’s a good idea to have the following conversations.
Your histories
The past can have a habit of cropping up in the present so it’s a good idea to broach the subject of previous romances with your other half. For example, are there any exes on the scene that you should know about? You may need to think about whether or not you’re comfortable with your new beau being mates with his old flame, for example. Remember a relationship is a two-way street so you must be willing to share your own experiences if you think they may impact on your new lover too. It’s also a good idea to find out if your partner has engaged in any risky behaviour that may put you in harm’s way. For example, unprotected sex can lead to sexually transmitted infections, some of which can have no symptoms at all. To be sure that both you and your other half are free from infections, visit onlinedoctor.lloydspharmacy.com to find out about symptoms and testing options.
The Future
While talk of marriage and babies might send your new suitor running for the hills on a second date, eventually you have to have a chat about where you see your life going. If you’re intent on having a big family wedding, 2.5 children and a house in the suburbs and your partner likes the idea of spending a few years travelling Asia and is not adverse to the idea of an open relationship, things might get rocky.
Be as honest as you can and ask your partner to do the same. Try to remain calm when you hear answers you don’t like though. Remember, it’s best to get everything out in the open before things get more serious. Having different priorities doesn’t mean you can’t move forward together as a couple. Serious thought and conversations may need to be had but eventually you should both be able to figure out whether you can be in it for the long haul, whether you’re happy just having a short-term relationship or whether it’s best to go your separate ways.
Stay open-minded
New relationships are filled with unknowns so don’t jump to any conclusions about your other half and try to stay open-minded. If you know where you draw the line though, make it known from the off and ask your partner to do the same. If you need further advice about how to talk to your new significant other, there’s plenty of relationship advice online. You may even decide to consult a relationship advice service for help.
*This is a collaborative post.
It does kind of get scary when you’re in a new relationship. A lot of people like to take things slow sometimes, you know?
Yes, these are indeed two very important topics. And even if certain parts of the past are agreed to remain unspoken, the future needs to be discussed.
I think these are very important topics to discuss. It’s better to figure these things out sooner rather than later.
Communication is the key to any successful relationship, I’m still trying to get my partner to talk to me more (after 20 years!), if I know he’s upset we go to the pub, he’ll only start talking after a few beers!
I agree it is always important to- be upfront and honest about your dating history from the start. Then your relationship can become a blank slate which you can build upon without any cobwebs/ secrets threatening to come to the surface x
I think it is great for couples to really get to know each other before they start a new relationship. Communication is number one in any relationship.
I’m not looking forward to this at all. 🙁 I’ve just come out of an 8 year relationship, with a very messy, heartbreaking end. I cant even think about new relationships yet :/
Oh gosh I am so sorry <3 sending you huge hugs. x
I think this is very true- if either of you have “deal breakers” its best to be open from the beginning so that you don’t travel a road full of surprises.
I think its really important to know what you both want for the future from the outset, otherwise you could put so much into the relationship only to find out that you’re both on different pages xxx
I agree with these facts you have mentioned Sarah. Communication is key.
Ah the start of a new relationship is so exciting, so much to discover about each other.
These are great tips. My boyfriend and I had both of these talks early in our relationship.
It is so important isn’t it, amazing how many people don’t.
This is brilliant! Definitely two very important convos you NEED to have with your partner! I know plenty of relationships that have failed at having expectations for the future that the other did not!!
It is hard to get going with such talks but once you get going it is the base of everything.
Such important conversations to have, within the first month me and my other half pretty much knew each others complete background with other partners, what happened etc and I am so much happier knowing. I also made an effort to tell him I wasn’t fussed on kids quite early just in case this was an issue for him, thankfully it wasn’t x
Really good post. It’s very hard to talk about certain things, especially the past, but it’s crucial for a relationship based on trust and understanding x
Communication is key in all relationships, so important to be honest with each other! xo
Be authentic, be yourself! Always x
I definitely agree with you, in every way. This is great advice. Being completely honest from the start is so important xx
Great advise! Being completely honest with each other from the start is important for a new couple.
The power of the spoken word is something some do take for granted. If you cant communicate (civilly) then really is there any point? x
This is a great post. Communication is so important for everyone but especially when you’re a couple.
Communication is so important
Mum always said to clear the air-youll be much more content
She was right
That is so true, it really isn’t good on yourself to keep things bottled up at all.
I think these are great tips! It is so important to be open and honest with your partner.
It really is isn’t it, it can make your relationship just talking to one another.
Hi Sarah, how are you? This is a great article and it one we (husband and I) talked thing through. A very nice article. xx
Hey Anna, I’m good thank you, how about you? x
I think these topics of conversation can be scary things to bring up for the first time, but it’s certainly a good idea to know where you both stand early on.
They really can be quite scary to bring up can’t they 🙁 definitely worth starting out on the right foot though.
Great article. I agree with your advice about remaining open-minded. I think nowadays – more than ever – people come in to new relationships with all sorts of baggage…it’s come to a stage when you’re suspicious when someone is squeaky clean with no ghosts in the closet? 😉
It so true – I think we all have a past and we need to all accept each others.
It’s really important that you’re open with your partner. It’s also important that you understand each other and you’re on the same page. All of these things require good communication.
Most definitely, it can be hard getting things out there sometimes, but so much better once you have. x
This is so true, and one we are unfortunately watching at the moment with my son, we are trying to tell him this, he is doing the total opposite.
Aww bless that must be so hard to watch 🙁 hopefully he will realise in the end.
Great advice! I always think it’s best to have these kind of relationships at the start of any relationship to ensure you’re both on the same page x
Most definitely and it sets the right tone as well as you are open from the start.
Communication is so important. It seems like such a passion killer in the early days but it’s essential, especially when sex comes in to play. I’ve always made sure to be tested before new relationships and expect my partners to do the same. It’s not because I don’t trust them, but because I want to make sure I’m fully aware and protected.
I totally agree, you want to know and you want to make sure people you could potentially spend a long time with know as well.
Great post – very very true! These things are so important and ongoing communication is imperative too, so start as you mean to go on I say!
Most definitely the early days really do set the standard for the future.
Been together nearly 10 years but married nearly 2. Communication is so simple but sometimes the hardest thing to do! We try to down tools and have a coffee and a chat away from distractions.
It really is we all internalise things we shouldn’t.
Communication IS key! My mom tells me that every healthy relationship (the ones that are built to last) rely on healthy trust and consistent communication.
It really is isn’t it – I think people think oh there just saying that but if you can’t share the hardest things with the person you spend your life with who can you?
Yes, this is so smart! I actually met my husband in high school, so we spoke about histories, but we didn’t talk much about money since neither of us had much of it! We did talk about our future. We always were going to get married, but we ended up doing it much sooner when I found out I was pregnant. Oops!
Aww sometimes these things happen just when they are meant to though 😉
Pasts are often very hard to talk about but it is really important if you plan on having a future together. Everyone has a past and its something you shouldn’t be worried about sharing with someone who loves you. You also need to check that you want the same things in life so yes, I agree with you, both conversations are very important!
Totally agree, I think you have to try and remember everyone has them and it isn’t a bad thing in many cases.
Such a good point – it is really important to be transparent in a relationship!
Good sound advice. I’m happily single at the moment and not really looking for anyone but I’d definitely follow some of your tips if my Mr nearly right DID show up!
Open talks are always good. I have a hard time talking about women things with my husband though.
Agreed. It is so important to know where you are heading as a couple!
It really can make a difference can’t it, if you aren’t on the same page, then it’s going to go downhill quickly.
Open communication and active listening is the key to make relationships work! That was the advice my parents gave me when I married my husband. It was the same advice I gave my daughter when she got married. Discussing family history is also essential, especially when the aspect of genetics and hereditary illnesses are concerned.
It’s definitely a huge key part of a relationship isn’t it, bottling things up just don’t work at all. It’s hard to be honest about health sometimes as well as it is a scary thing.
Open communication is so important early on, and something I really struggled with at first – 7 years, marriage and a toddler later I’m so glad we persevered with those early discussions.
It really is key isn’t it – I’m lucky I can talk to Ash about anything, which has made a huge difference.