Getting Out of An Abusive Marriage: Practical Tips And Understanding Your Rights
Unfortunately, domestic abuse cases are still a common occurrence in the UK. In fact, cases of domestic abuse crimes increased by 6% in the year ending March 2021. In some instances where couples are married, this can create further complications that make the process of leaving your partner extremely tricky. Knowing your legal rights and having a plan of action is essential.
What does an abusive relationship look like?
An abusive relationship can manifest in different ways.
- Physical abuse
Physical abuse results in physical harm being caused with clear intention behind it. This might include hitting, punching, or pushing. Sometimes, particularly in abusive relationships, sexual abuse can fall under this category, where non-consensual sex takes place between two people.
- Mental abuse
There are different types of mental abuse and sometimes, it can be more subtle than you might think.
Verbal or emotional abuse is done through words with the intention to belittle or manipulate someone, from hurtful name-calling to gaslighting. Having your freedom restricted, whether done financially or through an invasion of privacy, is another form of mental abuse.
The effects of physical or mental abuse can cause serious long-term damage. This could look like depression, anxiety or in some cases, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It can completely transform a victim’s behaviour and personality, so you should look out for people if you notice a change in their behaviour.
The stats on how many abusive marriage cases are reported
According to the ONS (Office for National Statistics), the police made 22 arrests per 100 domestic abuse-related crimes in the year ending March 2021 and the demand for domestic abuse helplines increased in the same period, with 22% more people supported.
Studies show that in an overwhelming majority of abusive relationship cases, women are the victims. According to the charity Women’s Aid, in the year ending March 2020, 77% of victims were recorded as female, compared to 16% who were recorded as male.
5 tips for getting out of an abusive marriage
- Speak to someone
Telling outsiders is the first step to resolving the issue and will open up a pathway to getting support and advice. You can contact charities such as Refuge and Mankind if you’re not ready to tell friends or family yet.
- Physically remove yourself from the situation
Create distance between you and your abusive partner where possible – especially if you are at risk of serious harm. If you can, move in with a friend while you take the next logical steps.
- Understand your legal rights
From doing your own research online to seeking help from a professional, it’s important that you understand your rights. If you or your children experience physical abuse, you should call the police and where possible, compile evidence, such as recordings, as these can later be used in court if needed.
- File for a divorce
Submitting that divorce application is a huge but fundamental step to ending your abusive marriage. The legal proceedings that follow will settle the conditions between yourself and your partner and if you work with a lawyer, communication with them can be kept to a minimum.
- Look after your mental health
Leaving an abusive marriage can take its toll, on top of everything else you’ve been through. Look after yourself as best as you can during this time and lean on others for support.
This is a collaborative post.
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