Ok the title of this post is completely contradictory to how I feel at the moment, my life seems to have crashed and burned as everything from the past year has just caught up with me.
It's over a year since my Gran left us and in some ways I'm only just starting to admit to myself she and my aunt have really gone, before I just let life keep going, buried my head in the sand and just hoped it would all pass me by, without too much bother.
But you know what it hurts, it hurts more than I can say – all the things I meant to do when I could cope with it, why did I never manage to cope with it? Why does my body and mind choose to fail me in such ways.
I've slept so much in the past few weeks, I've hardly wanted to get out of bed, as it's so safe warm and comforting, nothing can get you while you are cocooned within those walls right?
I guess I don't really know why I am typing this – it goes against the ethos of my blog to remember the good times, but I admit I hardly remember anything good at the moment and I'm trying to realise that's ok – sometimes you need to accept and face the bad and stop hiding.
Because pretending everything is ok and putting your head in the sand leads to something little causing the world around you to crash down and right now that crash is so big. But in a few months perhaps I can deal with it once again.