Random Ramblings

Depression, Anxiety and Me..

Back when I started my blog I wrote a little about my mental health issues. Something I still battle with daily and one of the reasons my blog is named as it is. If you follow me on twitter you might have noticed I have been having a bad time with anxiety of late and I have just wanted to run away from my own body, get away from the heart pumping, screaming anxiety that is raging on with no rhyme or reason inside me. So what better time to revisit the subject.

My problems started as an early teen, I remember ‘depression' being thrown around by my peers as a way to describe a bad day so I never really got my head around what they were saying was wrong with me – was I just having a bad day / month or year – why didn't it get better as it seemed to with everyone else?

Then of course there was the way some people thought of you I was everything from contagious, to making it up or attention seeking and those were the ‘kind' ones, others decided I was a drug dealer and prostitute and that's why I was missing school rather than the reality of me just being in hospital. At the time it hurt, now I realise they didn't understand and sadly that is still a huge problem, we just don't talk about it – it's a taboo – it's something to be afraid of.

Slowly though things are changing, the media do speak about it more often than even just a few years ago and with people such as Stephen Fry and Alastair CampbellΒ openly talking about their personal experiences people are becoming more aware.
Alastair-Campbell-2I think if I could talk to people about it the main thing I would want them to know is – please don't treat us differently, don't be afraid to say hello – ask how we are or just tell us a joke. We are just human like everyone else, our emotions and brain are just having a bit of trouble working everything out.

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This article has 85 comments

  1. Terri S. Vanech

    Thinking of you. My teenage daughter struggles, too. Very hard to experience. Difficult to watch someone you love trying to get through it.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      I hope she makes it through, I was awful in my teens just let her know from me things can get better if not completely to a place where you can cope most of time πŸ™‚ x

  2. Ruth-Lucy

    I think the word ‘depression’ is used a bit too much sometimes. people like to use labels for some reason. and doctors seem to like to use the term too much. Not that I would tell someone they weren’t depressed, I just mean there is a line between being sad, being ‘down’ and having depression (and other such brain health). I found this funny; Someone said to me “You’re lucky, you’re illnesses are only phsyical” I just starred and said “you have no idea!!!” I couldn’t believe it. That person was on meds for ‘depression’ [careful when using the word] and to be honest they came across as thinking they were cool because of it. I don’t think they did, it just seemed like it around that time.

    As for the writer of this blog, she is amazing and that is all i need to say πŸ™‚ <3

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      LOVE YOU GIRL! Thank you for all those times you spoke to me on the phone when I was at my worst, it meant the world to me and it still does <3. I shouldn't have put you in that position but I can't take it back so all I can say is THANK YOU.

      Urghhhhhh the only thing I ever say is 'easier' is when someone can see the problem, like when someone's broken a leg it's easy to see and for people to understand but that's just easier on the person trying to look at the problem not for the person dealing with it.. (ok ranting now can I just rant at them for you instead).

      Honestly do love you twinny thank you <3 xxxx

  3. Ruth-Lucy

    ok, just read my comment again, the first bit was about ‘people using despression as a term for a bad day’

  4. Stevie

    Fighting the fight, I have more pills than boots.
    The main lessons I’ve learned is not to judge others for not understanding. It’s a blessing that they don’t understand the hows and whys.
    Never take out your issues on anybody else, especially innocent people.
    I’d like to hear other long term lessons learnt.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      I guess it is a blessing for them, I wouldn’t wish this one anyone so thank you I hadn’t thought of it in that way before.

      Excepting I think is mine, excepting people just the way they are quirks and all – helping them through the bad and laughing with them through the good.

  5. sadia

    i do yoga and it helps me alot. Also plz tell em where are teh klairs giveaway winners?

  6. Lisa Williams

    I want to thank you so much for being so honest in this post I can’t imagine doing the same the thought terrifies me, like you said speaking about mental health issues is the first step and the more people talk the more people hear about it and the less of a stigma it has ! I just really wanted to tell you that this post is awesome and to thank you so much for bringing these issues to a wider audience πŸ™‚ I really hope you feel better and get your anxiety more under control soon πŸ™‚

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      Aw thank you so much πŸ™‚ I used to find it scary talking about it, but I think to me it’s part of trying to gain control of it, if I can speak openly about it then I have control in that way, I’m not ashamed – I know it’s different for everyone but that’s just one of my ways if you ever need to talk feel free to drop me a line:) xx

  7. Garf

    I, too have some bouts of depression, especially during the long cold winter season in Minnesota. Fortunately, it is warm now and I am so occupied with outdoor activities such as fishing and gardening. Blogging helps me overcome that problem too.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      Have you tried looking in to a SAD lamp? I get effected by our winter as well and I tried a lamp last winter and I found it evened me out a little just took that weather edge off it πŸ™‚ xx

  8. Sandy Cain

    I hear you. I have depression, anxiety disorder and PTSD. Every day (hell, every minute!) is challenge. ((((HUGS))) You are NOT alone!

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      **hugs** back thank you!! And if you ever need to cry at someone give me a shout – I don’t mind if it’s even a load of jibberish πŸ™‚ xx

  9. Kristi

    I have mild depression that is controlled with lose dose meds. It definitely runs in my family and came on after having my boys. Thanks for being so honest. It’s hard for me to talk about and I don’t share too much about it.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      Thank you for sharing as well I know how hard even admitting you have something can be – as I said to others if you ever need to talk get me on email, or twitter πŸ™‚ xx

  10. earthlingorgeous

    just keep on writing it helps:)

  11. Kisa

    *hugs* I suffer from Major Depression and Anxiety… so I understand completely. Every day can be really really hard, but thankfully meds make it so I can manage to get out of bed without it being a complete and total struggle.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      *hugs* meds can be amazing can’t they thankfully over the years I’ve managed to lower the amount I take (no longer a zombie) but I still don’t know what I would do without them completely x

  12. Jenn

    What a great honest post thanks for sharing and HUGS to you! I have battled on and off myself I find when I am working out it helps a bit.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      Thank you – I’ve just started at a gym (post coming on that soon lol) it used to be such a boost working out so hopefully it will help again even though I can’t do much lol x

  13. Carrie Davis

    I’ve been there Hun! A lot of us have! Great post!

  14. Tess

    sometimes I think that my son has a form of depression. I would never want to put him on drugs. I like the idea of yoga.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      Have you looked into St John’s Wort? I remember a friend telling me it did her the world of good as she didn’t want to take anything synthetic – I would never take away from medication if it’s the right thing (it saved my life) but can completely understand where you are coming from :).

  15. Akhil

    Sarah you are a strong women and i wish God will give you more strength, God bless you sarah!! I don’t know why i am feeling so bad right after reading this post….I am speechless. I was in depression for some time…God bless everyone. I hope you’ll feel more better than before πŸ™‚

  16. Terry (My Journey With Candida)

    While going through the healing of candida, I would off and on become depressed. I am lucky though because I never stay depressed for long. Come to find out… most of my problems were caused by human parasites. I have since gotten rid of them and am now doing very, very well. You probably think I am crazy blaming my problems on worms….. but believe me, when I started treating the candida and parasites… everything improved.

    There is an herbal medication when you feel depressed,… it is called St Johns Wort or something like that. I never took it but read it works well for some people. Hope you get out of your funk….. You have come a long way from the prostitution and drug dealing…. If you can come back from that… you can come back from anything life throws at you. Wishing you well.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      Not silly at all – I remember when I was in hospital there was a guy who was in for dementia, this guy had long suffered with his mental health and the family just didn’t feel like it hung right – on further investigation it turned out he had a water infection, and it had completely changed his mental state as soon as they treated that he was back to his normal state.

      Ah I shall have to check how that bit reads – I was never a prostitute or drug dealer that’s what my peers at school decided I was – when in reality I was just in hospital being treated for my mental health problems.

  17. Pam

    ((hugs)) to you. I have suffered from depression for years. I take medication and it helps. Whenever I try to come off of it, the depression comes back and my doctor puts me right back on. Thanks for being brave enough to share your story. πŸ™‚

  18. su Tyler

    And never say ‘ pull yourself together’ to any one suffering depression.
    People who don’t suffer don’t understand how hard it is to cope with depression and anxiety.

  19. Athena

    Although I do not currently suffer from depression – I definitely have. It is horrible to experience.

  20. Arianna

    What a brave woman you are! You’re right, I suffered the same stigmas when I was a teen. I don’t understand why there is such a stigma! I guess it’s a result of people’s own fears.

  21. Nancy Carr

    Just by your talking about mental health issues you are helping people. Take good care of yourself.

  22. Melinda Dunne

    You are not alone. I also suffer a bit myself. I don’t usually talk much about it but I do have days that are very difficult. I used to me on a lot of medication now I focus on my diet, exercise and positive thinking. It isn’t a cure but it does make things manageable.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      I think half the battle is making sure you think things correctly it definitely helped me a lot learning to focus more, it doesn’t help all the time obviously but quite often it does. x

  23. Cara Howard

    Amen girlfriend!!! Do you take anything for your anxiety or depression? Because they are very REAL things and just like diabetes, you wouldn’t want to go a day without your insulin, so you don’t want to go a day without your chemical balancing meds! I take an anti-depressant because I was diagnosed with bad clinical depression almost 5 years ago, and my hubby takes an anti-anxiety med because he’s struggled with anxiety for 7 years. xoxo You’re not alone!

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      I do πŸ™‚ I’ve come down a lot since the days when I started on them as I’ve added my own coping strategies, but I couldn’t be without them completely maybe one day but not yet for sure πŸ™‚ x

  24. Raewyn

    Ick! I hate the stigma with emotional disorders. For me, the worst part is when people try to tell me that they must have an anxiety disorder, too, while I’m having more than 10 panic attacks a day. Have you ever tried EFT tapping? My therapist introduced it to me in 2010 and it helps so much! Good luck, if you ever need someone to talk to about it, I can be that blog friend!

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      No I haven’t though I have heard about it – I will have to have a deeper look into it πŸ™‚ Thank you and the same goes to you – I’m always around if you want a chat it would be lovely to have another blog friend πŸ™‚ x

  25. Lanaya @ Raising Reagan

    You are in my thoughts pretty girl. If I could see you I would give you a huge hug and then put some stupid face on to make you laugh!
    Hope you feel better and dammit, smile! πŸ™‚ Love you girl!

    (ΒΈΒ€ Lanaya | xoxo

  26. Cynthia L.

    I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. I can just imagine the things you had and still have to put up with. My heart goes out to you for your daily struggles. I appreciate your honesty in this blog.

  27. Krista

    Hugs to you! Depression and anxiety are real things that should be handled with love and compassion -and taken seriously! I hate when people declared “I’m so depressed that my favorite show was cancelled” or something equally as dumb. Learn about it, people!

  28. Jutta@HungryLittleGirl

    Wow for being that brave and talking about it! People misuse the word “depression” – that’s why it is not taken seriously at all. I really hope you have things under control and know your ways to help yourself when it flames up! Sending hugs your way!

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      Thank you – they do it’s such a shame and it happens with so many words these days. I have been a lot better these past few days, since writing this post I think lol x

  29. Milena

    As someone that recently had an anxiety attack, I appreciate your honestly and talking about such a tough topic. Keep moving forward.

  30. Giveaways 4 Mom

    Depression is something that is very real yet a lot of people do not understand it. I also suffer from depression as well. I am so sorry that you have to deal with it because I know from experience it is not something that is fun at all.

  31. Judy Haughton-James

    Hi Sarah,
    I have had to battle anxiety after the deaths of my identical twin sister and brother. It is disappointing when others don’t understand. Just ignore them and keep fighting it. I find Yoga and repeating affirmations helpful. My very best wishes to you. Never give up. Take care.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      Hi Judy,
      I am so sorry for your loss – I can’t imagine how it must have and still does feel for you to lose such close people. I really want to get back into Yoga as I think even with my mobility I ‘might’ be able to do it at least the gentler poses – I can’t see me doing anything amazing anytime soon lol x

  32. Unevenlemming

    Living with a mental illness, I think, is worse than living with a physical illness because for the stigma that is attached to it. I was told I suffer with depression in 2005 after a series of relationship diasters, then anxiety was added to it last year when I lost my job due to knee injury. I am lucky that I have a support system around me – I went through CBT computer training (with I still have access to), and through a charity I have someone an mentor I can email whenever I need to.
    We still need to talk about it more, because more support will be there without people being scared. My mental illness doesn’t define who I am.

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      It really doesn’t though so many people think it does – it’s almost like don’t touch them or talk to them they have a ‘mental health issue’.. Ermm still human! I’m so glad you have a support system around you – that really can make all the difference πŸ™‚ x

  33. Mel Cole

    I sometimes get depressed but my cure is through praying. I will just leave it all up to God and I feel better. I hope you keep well in what you’re feeling. It’s hard but you can do it. Stay happy.

  34. Mel Cole

    I believe in you. You can do it!

  35. mommasbacon

    Anxiety and depression can be very debilitating. Talking to others is important. If medication is necessary, I think we as a society should be understanding of that.

  36. Robin Christofaro

    I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I both struggle with anxiety and panic issues which makes it terribly difficult for our family to function “normally” sometimes. I truly don’t think that someone can understand the daily struggles if they haven’t gone through it themselves.

    I applaud you for your candor on the subject. These are things that I wish on no one…but I thank God for the support and blessings that I have. My struggle could be so much greater, at least this one is manageable (most of the time).

    Keep fighting the good fight!!

    • Sarah-Louise Bailey

      I’m so sorry to hear you both go through it as well πŸ™ but glad to hear you find it manageable most of the time. If you ever need someone to talk to just give me a shout πŸ™‚ x

  37. Anne | The Lucky Wife

    So sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult this would be.

    I do wish those who can’t be nice or understanding about others’ struggles could somehow realize that every single one of us struggles with something. For some it is just “easier” to tell or to see than others.

  38. Cindy (Vegetarian Mamma)

    Thank you for sharing, your story can help so many πŸ™‚

  39. Helen Moulden

    I suffer too from anxiety and I know how difficult it is just to get out of bed on particularly bad days. I hope things get better for you πŸ™‚ x

  40. Agata Pokutycka

    So many people around have the same problem. Good thing is, we are starting to deal with it and most of us are able to share and talk about it…

  41. Helena

    Thank you for this icepost!
    So:metimes it feels good to share some of our problems, I really hope you take careof yourself.
    Specially now I have such sadness coming from my last events…
    Have anice day!

  42. julie baxter

    depression is a horrible thing to deal with πŸ™

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