Advent 2018 Day 9 £20 Amazon Voucher

Advent 2018 Day 9 – £20 Amazon Voucher

Life in a Break Down Christmas Picture

Happy 13th of December – unlucky for some maybe! But hopefully not for you.

How's your week been going?

I have to admit mines been the same old, hospital appoints, Sally appointments and trying not to do anything much.

To be fair my anxiety about all things Sally is still sky high and I've been closed off a bit. Even trying to get advents out of me has been a nightmare for poor Bex.

But don't worry we still have a couple of awesome days to come!

ArtYourFace Banksy Pop Art Banskey Wall - Sally wearing a crown close up of sally

Giving Back

Today is all about giving something back to you.

The people who keep us going, the people who read the perhaps rubbish we write.

There are some days where my mental health is feeling so low and something will come in from a reader, be it an email or comment and it can completely change my day.

So to all of you who have done that, thank you.

While I can't offer every single one of you something (though I do pick random comment winners from time to time on my Facebook and Instagram page). Today we can give one of you something so let's get on with the competition.

Merry Christmas Sally Photo


So today we have £20 in Amazon vouchers for one of you.

All you need to do to be in with a chance of winning today's prize, let us know using 8 words or more:
What's your favourite Christmas Cracker Joke? Or perhaps let us know what your cooking for Christmas Dinner?

Please remember as this competition is running over multiple websites to not only leave your name in the Gleam widget but also let us know which website you entered via so we can track down your comment.

Advent Day 9 – £20 Amazon Voucher

Good Luck!




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Advent 2018 Day 9 £20 Amazon Voucher

This article has 186 comments

  1. Tracy Clark

    Why did Santa go to the doctor?
    Because of his bad “elf”!

  2. Leela

    I’m looking forward to ham with all the sides.

  3. Laura Todd

    I’m cooking up a very traditional Christmas dinner of turkey & all the trimmings. We usually have a variety of starters & desserts to suit all tastes though. Best meal of the year!

  4. Veronica Lee

    We’re having a pot luck at my sister’s and I’m bringing the Pancetta-Wrapped Pork Loin.

  5. Abigail Cullen

    Going to be cooking turkey and stuffing with all the trimmings.

  6. Ursula Hunt

    We are having a change from Turkey and having Venison with Port and cranberry stuffing

  7. William Gould

    What’s the difference between the Love Island villa and the stable where Jesus was born?
    The stable has had some wise men in it!

  8. Lynn Neal

    I will be cooking Roast turkey and all the trimmings for my family but for myself it will be a nut roast!

  9. Catherine Bullas

    I’m cooking the usual turkey roast but also a nut roast for my vegetarian daughter.

  10. Ruth Harwood

    Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elfis Presley

  11. Helen Tovell

    The traditional roast turkey with all the usual trimmings plus yorkshire puddings in our house

  12. Solange

    I’m cooking a roast turkey with all the trimmings for Christmas dinner.

  13. Liam Bishop

    We always have Turkey and I always have the leg as nobody else wants it, I love it!

  14. Lynn savage

    Why did Santa go to the doctor?
    Because of his bad “elf”!

  15. Bev

    I always like the one about the two snowmen standing in a field. One says to the other – “can you smell carrots?!”

  16. KEV C

    I never cook xmas dinner, if you could taste it you would know why!!!

  17. Amanda tanner

    I’m lucky my mum cooks the christmas dinner whilst I’m normally in bed hungover.

  18. David Williams

    Turkey with the full works, including pigs-in-blankets but definitely NO sprouts!

  19. Catherine S

    I’ll be cooking a turkey crown with all the trimmings, so very close to being traditional.

  20. john prendergast

    Why did no one bid for Rudolph or Blitzen on eBay

    Because they were two deer

  21. Nikki Hayes

    We are having chicken (turkey is now ridiculously expensive for a 2-3 person one), duck fat roast potatoes, swede and carrot mash and roast parsnips – plus gravy of course, and a nice bottle of Asti :o)

  22. Kim Neville

    When do sheep practice their new dance?
    While shepherds watched them floss by night

  23. Michael Rattray

    We’re having a BBQ Christmas this year.

  24. Rich Tyler

    Turkey, duck fat roast potatoes, cheesy leeks, spouts, the lot!

  25. S Edwards

    Turkey with pig in blankets lots of veg a roasties

  26. ann goody

    Guess what I will be cooking, turkey, and the all important litre of gravy…

  27. angela sandhu

    My cousin is cooking this year so I am looking forward to that!

  28. Bruce

    I’m having goose and stuffing.

  29. Lindsey Stuart

    Why did the Skeleton not go to the Christmas party? Because he had NO Body to go with!!
    haha my little ones love that one.

  30. laura stewart

    turkey and all the trimmings looking forward to it x

  31. Mummy Fever

    I’ll be cooking a gluten free version of turkey with all the trimmings

  32. S.Otoole

    Pork and Chicken this Christmas, not keen on turkey

  33. Sandra Fortune

    Why was the snowman searching through the carrots ? He was picking his nose

  34. Louise Heaton

    I’m not sure what I shall have on Christmas Day-I’m cat sitting for a friend.
    I’ll more than likely make a sausage sandwich in honour of my brother who was killed at the end of July-He loved his sausage sandwiches and would come and visit me at Christmas. x

  35. Sheena Batey

    What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick

  36. Amandeep Sibia

    This year we’re going for the bird in a bird in a bird option.

  37. Keith Hunt

    What does Santa do with fat elves? He sends them to an Elf Farm

  38. Laura Jeffs

    I’m cooking my very own yummy vegan nut roast, serving it with new potatoes, caramelised baby carrots and brussel sprouts.

  39. Annabel Greaves

    I am really looking forward to the turkey and roast potatoes – I really love pigs in blankets too

  40. Iris

    We’re staying with my family in Switzerland were it’s tradition to celebrate on Christmas Eve. We’ll have a buffet so everyone is doing some preparation and cooking

  41. Anonymous

    im cooking turkey, bacon joint and chicken x

  42. Kevin Honey

    What is the elves favourite music?

  43. Denise S

    what do you call 500 penguins in trafalgar square? ….lost

  44. nicola rupawala

    I’m cooking a big roast dinner with all of the trimmings, first time doing so!

  45. Danielle Spencer

    What is the elves favourite kind of music? Wrap.

  46. Joo Dee

    cooking the works, turkey, sausagemeat stuffing, veg, roasties, then pud and custard

  47. Christina Palmer

    What do elves learn at school?
    The elfabet

  48. andrea tinkler

    What is the elves favourite kind of music? Wrap.

  49. Holly G

    We are going to my mother in laws for a traditional dinner on the day and my mum is visiting on the 22nd so I am cooking a big roast with a leg of lamb which I never do so wish me luck!

  50. ruth robinson

    i am cooking turkey pork and all the trimmings cant wait mmm

  51. Dawn Brodribb

    This year we are having turkey wrapped in bacon! yum!

  52. Margaret Clarkson

    Chicken, pigs in blankets, stuffing, lots of vegetables and of course Yorshire puddings.

  53. Jessica waugh

    Why was the snowman looking through carrots? He was picking his nose haha

  54. Michelle Ferguson

    We will be having Turkey with all the trimmings but hubby is cooking it

  55. Kelly wheelhouse

    My mum is cooking Christmas dinner this year. We are having roast gammon and beef with all the trimmings 🙂

  56. Ashleigh Allan

    For Christmas dinner Turkey with all the trimmings

  57. Jo Hutchings

    I’m cooking a big roast chicken dinner as none of us are fans of turkey.

  58. Anonymous

    I’ll be cooking beef and pork this Christmas! We couldn’t decide between them so we’re having both

  59. leanne weir

    Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elfis Presley

  60. Fay

    Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
    A mince spy!

  61. melanie stirling

    We are having turkey, baked ham and all the trimmings including sprouts, we all love them.

  62. Calvin

    Probably lasagna.. lots of mashed potatoes.. and eggs. hehe

  63. Rachel Goode

    Usually we have something different but I think it’s going to be a turkey this year.

  64. Margaret Gallagher

    Oòoo you poor for tree – that’s a nasty case of tinsilitis – hope you shake it off soon

  65. Oli Marshall

    Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
    Santa Jaws!

  66. Claire Woods

    I don’t know any cracker jokes. For Christmas dinner we are having a roast dinner but with a Quorn roast instead of meat, as we’re all veggies.

  67. Sue McCarthy

    I’m on my own and veggie so I have pizza for my Christmas meal, in the evening with wine!

  68. Is A

    What do witches use to wrap their presents?

  69. Georgina Prince

    what do you call a sleeping bull?
    A bull-dozer

  70. Lorna Ledger

    We will be having Tapas on the big day! As it’s just the two of us! and it’s what we fancy, but on Boxing day we will have traditional Christmas dinner – cooking for 14!

  71. Lynn Neal

    I will be cooking roast turkey and all the trimming for the rest of the family but Mine will be a nut roast!

  72. Carole Nott

    Its a traditional roast turkey dinner for me – cant wait!

  73. Laura Turner

    I’m contemplating doing a nut roast this year, even though we aren’t vegetarians.

  74. Karen Langridge

    My brother is helping with the Christmas dinner this year, we are having a traditional turkey one and I can’t wait! x

  75. iain maciver

    why does santa have three gardens,because he likes to hoe,hoe,hoe

  76. Emma Nixon

    How did Scrooge win the football match? The ghost of Christmas passed.

  77. Sarah A

    We lost Mum in October so I’m cooking Xmas dinner for us all this year. It’s going to be as close to what Mum would have done as I can, Turkey roast with all the trimmings.

  78. Hannah Wood

    I am a Veggie so love trying new veggie options out.

  79. Ali Duke

    We are having the traditional turkey roast for Christmas dinner, with yorkshire puds as my son insists we have them lol

  80. HannahP

    I’m no good with jokes – so it’ll have to be dinner! Fairly traditional, but I like to mix the brussels up so they’re more interesting – maybe fried with some bacon and cranberry sauce.

  81. Gillian Hitchen

    I will be cooking a classic turkey dinner, roasties and stir fried sprouts!

  82. Susie Wilkinson

    What’s white and goes up?
    A confused snowflake!

  83. Christine Caple

    We will be cooking turkey as usual with all the trimmings.

  84. Arabella Bazley

    It’s so difficult to be original with cracker jokes but perhaps that’s half the charm! Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

  85. Sarah Blackwell-Hughes

    We are having the usual turkey, roast potatoes, vegetables, gravy and yorkie puddings with stuffing! x

  86. Ellen Stafford

    I’m going to my sisters for Christmas this year and she has decided not to do the traditional Christmas dinner – we are having a fry up instead! First year I haven’t had Turkey or Chicken lol

  87. Emily Smith

    How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

    One that’s deep pan, crisp and even!

  88. C Whitlow

    My cooking of the full Christmas dinner is enough joke in itself! 🤯

  89. astrid c

    i have no idea what we are having for christmas dinner yet, but i can say brussells will not be part of it!! x

  90. Sarah Goldingay

    Question: Why did the Turkey cross the road?
    Answer: To prove his not a Chicken!

    Love the cheesy christmas jokes! 😀

  91. emma howard

    We make a point of never having turkey for Christmas dinner so this year it’s goose!

  92. Stacey Turner

    Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
    Santa Jaws

  93. Rachel White

    We have roast turkey & roast beef with all the trimmings! Yummy!

  94. lorraine kirk

    What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frost-bite

  95. James Travis

    How does Christmas Day end?
    With the letter ‘Y’!

  96. Allan Fullarton

    Why did Santa go to the doctor?
    Because of his bad “elf”

    TERRIBLE haha

  97. graham hudson

    What happens to your mobile phone when you drop it in Europe?….BREXIT!

  98. Joanna Nichol

    What does a witch use to wrap up their presents….spellotape!

  99. Karen Barrett

    We are having roast beef and yorkshire pudding with all the trimmings

  100. Susan B

    Vegetarian Wellington for mains plus all the usual veggies followed by pavlova.

  101. Lyndsey Baines

    This year we are going to my sisters for christmas dinner, im so excited ☺

  102. Karen Usher

    Cooking…well Im not, the hubby is cooking because hes a better cook than me and Ill be sleeping as Im sadly on nights Xmas Eve #paramedic. We will be having turkey with all the trimmings.

  103. Christine Lockley

    We’ll be having a traditional Turkey lunch for Christmas Day. My favourite cracker joke is

    why did the turkey want to join the band?
    cos he had drumsticks!

  104. Janet Birkin

    What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
    A Christmas Quacker!

  105. Susan Trubey

    When do sheep practice their new dance? While shepherds watched them floss by night.

  106. Claire Stewart

    Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. Duck as well as Turkey too

  107. greig spencer

    turkey with all the trimmings

  108. Donna Tomlin

    How much did Santa pay for his sleigh.

    Nothing, it was on the house.

  109. Caroline Cordery

    Why did Trump put too many baubles on his Christmas tree? Because he kept hearing people say ‘moron!’

  110. emma franklin

    We are cooking a full turkey roast with all the trimmings and because we are from Yorkshire we will be having Yorkshire puddings 🙂

  111. stephen holman

    Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elf-is Presley

  112. Derek Wilson

    We’re having a traditional lunch, but instead of a full bird, we’re doing a turkey joint to cut down on waste.

  113. Kay Sherman

    What’s Rudolph’s favourite day of the year ?

    Red Nose Day

  114. Amanda w

    What do you call a hot snowman? A puddle!!! Haha

  115. Fiona jk42

    My husband is the cook in our family. He’ll be cooking a turkey with roast potatoes, brussels and a vegetarian dish for my daughter and me.

  116. Katrina Adams

    What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck?

    A Christmas Quacker!


    Cooking a bar-b-que, it’s different, in Forest Of Dean, what better way to have a good walk and enjoy the company of friends and family.

  118. Gemma Holland

    What do you call people who are scared of Santa? Claustrophobic 😀

  119. Katie Walker

    My mum and sister are cooking us a mushroom wellington for Christmas day

  120. Anneka Davies

    I’ll be making a lovely vegan festive nut roast

  121. Ruth lee

    I’m cooking turkey with all the trimmings can’t wait

  122. Sandra Charnley

    We are spending Christmas with my mother-in-law who has dementia.

  123. Megan Williams

    Who delivers presents to baby sharks?

    Santa Jaws!

  124. Stuart Robinson

    What kind of music do elves like? Wrapping!

  125. helen rosbotham

    Were having Beef Sirloin really looking forward to it. Will still have homemade stuffing as well.

  126. Laura Lee

    Fav Christmas joke – What do elfs learn at school – The Elfabet!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

  127. Dawn F

    My mother-in-law is cooking a Christmas roast but I also like to make a full vegetarian roast on NYE.

  128. Anonymous

    What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis

  129. Lauren Old

    We’re having classic turkey with pigs in blankets, veggies and a lot of gravy!

  130. iain

    cooking turkey

  131. donna l jones

    Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
 Because he had a low “elf” esteem

  132. karen Dixon

    What’s the difference between and snowman and snowwoman??
    Snow Balls

  133. Ceri Richardson

    I’m not cooking this year. My mum is but it’ll be turkey and all the trimmings I cannot wait!

  134. Sheri Darby

    We’ll be having Pot Roast of Beef with roast potatoes, Yorkshire pudding and no sprouts

  135. Helen Stratton

    Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

  136. Claire Brown

    Lovely giveaway ♥️ ♥️

  137. Nuala R

    What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia

  138. jacqui rushton

    What music do elves love the most? Wrap1

  139. Erica Hughes

    It’s goose for us, but thankfully my brother is cooking it.

  140. Leslie Evans

    Spaghetti Bolognese

  141. Sharon Hirst

    Very traditional, love Turkey and all the trimmings, fab because my husband does it all.

  142. Victoria Prince

    My favourite Christmas joke thus far this year is “What photos do Santa’s helpers take? Elfies!”

  143. Monika Bascombe

    Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly

  144. Christine Hobbs

    What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?…..the Elf abet

  145. Ray Becker

    Don,t eat yellow snow

  146. Maria Jane Knight

    What do angry mice give each other at Christmas? Cross-Mouse Cards!

  147. hannah igoe

    we are having a turkey roast – a family effort so I am really looking forward to it.

  148. Rachael Obrien

    What’s the difference between a snowman and snowwomen … snowballs !! Haha

  149. Kay Broomfield

    Why are Christmas tree bad at sewing? They’re always dropping their needles!

  150. Dawn Andrews

    The rest of my family will be having turkey with all the trimmings, but I’ll be having some vegetable or bean burgers in place of the turkey.

  151. Tunde Toth

    I will roast a goose with the usual trimmings. Then we will also have baked fish with french potato salad. And a boozy Tiramisu for dessert.

  152. Karen bedford

    What is Santa favourite pizza
    Deep pan crisp and even

  153. Anonymous

    The one day of the year when I have lunch cooked for me by my mother. Can’t wait to sip wine all day and enjoy turkey and all the trimmings

  154. Sophie Foulds

    Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elfis Presley

  155. Tracy Newton

    I am cooking Turkey with all the trimmings for our extended family

  156. sarah stine

    I’m cooking ham for Christmas dinner.

    • sarah stine

      We will also be having cheesy potatoes and a salad. We have our traditional cheeseball that we will be eating after the Christmas Eve service.

  157. Tracy Hanson

    Why don’t Polar Bears ate Penguins?
    They can’t get the wrappers off.

    Old one but still makes me laugh,

    We will be having beef with all the trimmings because it’s the only thing all 13 of us like.

  158. Lyndsey Bruce

    Why was the snowman searching through the pile of carrots? He was picking his nose

  159. Jade Jones

    what do you call an old snowman



    Why was the snowman sorting through a pile of carrots? He was picking his nose.

  161. Adrian Bold

    Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

    He sold his soul to Santa.

  162. Aaron Milne

    What sort of motorbike does Father Christmas drive?
    A Holly Davidson

  163. Rai

    I’ll cook myself a nice little roast dinner. I only do myself a roast once in a blue moon so it’ll make a nice change.

  164. Chloe brill

    turkey with all the trimmings

  165. Ian Campbell

    Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
    A: You look for the fresh prints!

  166. Alison Macdonald

    Roast turkey with my DH homemade chestnut stuffing and cranberry sauce

  167. Jessica Barber

    What do Santa’s elves learn at school? The Elf-abet! Always gets a groan at the table haha!

  168. Andrea Lloyd

    Quorn chicken and veg and Yorkshire puddings with onion gravy

  169. Catherine Stewart

    I’ve managed to get out of making Xmas dinner, but will be doing a buffet on Xmas Eve

  170. sharon martin

    Who hides in a bakery at Christmas? A mince spy

  171. Jeanette Leighton

    2 snowmen stood in a field one says to the other is it just me or can you smell carrots

  172. Sheila Reeves (CakeReev)

    We’ll be cooking the traditional turkey, roast potatoes veg with home-made bread sauce

  173. Deborah Preston

    We will be having traditional turkey with all the trimmings

  174. janine atkin

    what do santas elves like to sing? wrap!! ha ha

  175. Scott Fallon

    Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
    They always drop their needles!

  176. Hazel Rea

    My favourite Christmas joke at the moment is: How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? Nothing – it was on the house.

  177. paula cheadle

    what did santa say when he was going backward?
    oh oh oh

  178. Dale Dow

    What’s an elves favourite genre of music? Wrap

  179. Laura Pyper

    What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!

  180. Rosina Hall

    Something scrummy and vegan!

  181. Sarah Addey

    Looking forward to the sweet potatoes yum and being with the family

  182. Sam Parkes

    Why should you never mess with Santa?
    Because he has a black belt

  183. Tammy Neal

    Turkey and pigs in blankets x

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